Beans On Powdered Toast: The Prelude

Maestro: Cats… No, we’re not talking about the Broadway musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber or the infamous movie adaptation of the same name. Today, we’re just talking about cats. From the mighty lion to the common house hold cat, Felines are known for being competent hunters who stalk their targets with deadly yet dignified grace and finesse. But while our combatants today are felines, well… let’s just say they’re not known for landing on their feet, and that’s putting it mildly.

Dr. Ross: You just had to remind us that flick existed, didn’t you dear Nephew? Seriously, I’m still dreading that the fact that the butthole cut exists somewhere out there.

Marcy: If you want to wash that movie out of your brain, I’d watch Cats Don’t Dance. It’s a movie about singing cats, but it’s actually good! (and soooo underrated!)

Dr. Ross: Thanks for the tip, New Girl. Well speaking of cartoon cats; today we bring you two of the dumbest yet most lovable cats who became house hold names in the 90’s. One of them was on Cartoon Network and the other was on Nickelodeon. Considering those two channels were fierce rivals at the time, that just makes this match up all the sweeter.

Maestro: With out further adieu, let us introduce our kitty competitors:

IN THE RED CORNER: ONCE A FEARSOME SPACE PIRATE LATER TURNED INTO AN ERRATIC ENTERTAINER.

THE BARON OF BALONEY AND BEANS:

IN THE BLUE CORNER: THE CLASSIC COMEDIC CAT WHO BRINGS THE HAPPY HAPPY AS WELL AS THE JOY JOY.

THE HARBINGER OF HAIRBALLS:

Dr. Ross: I’m your host with the most, Dr. Katheryn Xavia Ross. By my side is my stylish co-hosts, Maestro and Marcy. Representing these two combatants today are rival luchadors Muta Muchado and Rico Ranchado.

Muta: Hola Amigos! Who’s ready for another muy magnífico match-up?

Rico: Buenos días, fighting fanaticos!

Muta: Ah, feels like only yesterday when Moltar scored a victory for the Red corner. Now it is time for his more popular co-star to do the same!

Rico: First off, the result of that fight was mierda de toro! Second; HA! As if! Stimpy will be burying Brak in a grave of Gritty Kitty litter!

Muta: I’m afraid you’re mistaken, Rico. If anything, Brak shall be doing a musical number on Stimpy’s resting place when he’s done with him!

Dr. Ross: Cool it, ya fanboys! Save the fighting for our combatants!

VS Bio: Space Ghost (Composite)

DISCLAIMER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME PERMISSION TO USE THIS BIO. JUST PLEASE GIVE CREDIT WHEN YOU DO USE IT. I REPEAT; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ASK ME TO USE THIS BIO. I JUST WANT TO BE CREDITED FOR MY WORK ON IT. Also note that this bio has not been updated since 2018, so there’s a chance it could be out of date if new media/information have surfaced since.

Space Ghost

Real Name: Thaddeus Bach (Thaddeus Ghostal in Coast to Coast)
Alias: Captain Kyr, Thad, Tad Ghostal, Tadpole (As called by his brother), Space Ghost: The earl of peppercorn
First Appearance: Space Ghost and Dinoboy Episode 1 “The Heat Thing” (September 10, 1966)
First Coast to Coast Appearance: Space Ghost Coast to Coast Episode 1: “Spanish Translation” (April 15, 1994)
Age: Said to be 30, but he is speculated to be much older (At least 50)
Height: 6’2”
Weight: 200 lbs
Occupation: Peace Keeper, Galactic Super Hero, Talk Show Host, Show Writer, Narrator/announcer
Affiliation: The Commandment, The Space Force, Ghost Patrol (His group consisting of himself, Jan, Jace, and Blip), The Cartoon Planet Band
Likes: Justice, Saving people, Keeping the peace, Picnics, defeating bad guys, his wards Jan and Jace, His pet/side kick Blip, Fame, Glory, Attention, Showing Off, Himself, Beef Longs, Bicycles, Dancing, Ultraman, Smooth Music, Chuck Norris, Pie, Mexican Food
Theme song: 

Backyard Barbecue: THE FIGHT

Dr. Ross: Finally comes the moment we’ve all been waiting for. Let’s get this cooking, boys!

Muta: Going to be interesting to see Moltar’s very first match… As well as his first victory!

Rico: Right; Like the good for nothing perezoso is gonna beat the one who’s day job is literally killing people who do the same thing for a living.

Muta: Ah, but you misunderstand. Moltar is a criminal master mind while Pyro is a mere grunt! Well, I supposed we should just sit back and watch for now. We’ll continue this discussion afterwards!

Rico: Muy bien, Pendejo! For now; seeing your face as the Pyro leaves Moltar a smoldering corpse will definitely make this all worth while.

Maestro: Ladies and Gentlemen, Fanboys and Fangirls… It’s time to get caught in a Crossover Crossfire!

Backyard Barbecue: The Prelude

(Credit to Jim Gallo for allowing me to use his Moltar artwork on the left. You can find more of his art on his website here: www.jimgalloart.com/ )

Dr. Ross: Pyromaniacs… troubled individuals who suffer from a disorder that can be dangerous if left unchecked. Such people have an strong uncontrollable urge (if not obsession) with starting fires and watching things burn to ashes as the flames spread and the smoke rises before all is consumed by an inferno… In other words, you would NOT wanna leave them in a room with a book of matches.

I’m not a Pyromaniac myself, but even I admit fire is awesome and it’s fun to watch shit go up in smoke! Hell, it’s why I called this VS series “Crossover Crossfire”. The word “Fire” is in the title for a reason after all!

VS. Bio: Space Ghost (Coast to Coast)

DISCLAIMER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME PERMISSION TO USE THIS BIO. JUST PLEASE GIVE CREDIT WHEN YOU DO USE IT. I REPEAT; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ASK ME TO USE THIS BIO. I JUST WANT TO BE CREDITED FOR MY WORK ON IT. Also note that this bio has not been updated since 2018, so there’s a chance it could be out of date if new media/information have surfaced since.

Space Ghost

Real Name: Thaddeus Ghostal (Also goes by “Tad Ghostal”)
Alias: Tad, Tadpole (As called by his brother), Space Ghost: The earl of peppercorn
First Appearance: Space Ghost and Dinoboy Episode 1 “The Heat Thing” (September 10, 1966)
First Coast to Coast Appearance: Space Ghost Coast to Coast Episode 1: “Spanish Translation” (April 15, 1994)
Age: Said to be 30, but he is speculated to be much older (At least 50)
Weight: Claims to be 300 lbs, but Zorak claims he’s 467 (1997 AOL Chat)
Occupation: Super Hero, Talk Show Host, Show Writer (Wrote the Space Ghost episode “Pavement”), Narrator/announcer (Was the narrator for the game “Cartoon Network Punch time Explosion XL) 
Affiliation: The Cartoon Planet Band
Likes: Fame, Glory, Attention, Showing Off, Himself, Beef Longs, Bicycles, Dancing, Ultraman, Smooth Music, Chuck Norris, Pie, Mexican Food
Theme song: 

Moltar Sneezes a planet away

In an episode of Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Moltar sneezes so hard he not only shakes Ghost Planet Industries (The studio they film the show on) but even sends the entirety of Ghost Planet flying away:

So how powerful was this sneeze?

VS Bio: Zorak (Composite)

DISCLAIMER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME PERMISSION TO USE THIS BIO. JUST PLEASE GIVE CREDIT WHEN YOU DO USE IT. I REPEAT; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ASK ME TO USE THIS BIO. I JUST WANT TO BE CREDITED FOR MY WORK ON IT. Also note that this bio has not been updated since 2018, so there’s a chance it could be out of date if new media/information have surfaced since.

Zorak

Real Name: Zorak Jones (Or possibly Zorak Roberts)
Alias: The lone locust of the apocalypse, Dr. Shriek, Arthur, Bat-Mantis, Puffy Cakes, Grass Hopper, Lord Zorak, Nephew Breath
First Appearance: Space Ghost and Dinoboy Episode 1 segment: “Zorak” (September 10th 1966)
Age: 40 years old (According to the Brak show episode “Brakstreet/Men in the Bands”)
Species: Dokarian (Also known as a Zorathian) (Some times identifies as a Mantis or a Locust)
Height: 7′ (Though he appears 6’ due to always being hunched over)
Occupation: Super Villain, leader of the Zorathian fleet, Musician, Band Leader, Dentist, Singer, Deejay, Spokes Mantis for Gour Mayo, Local Bully who charges his victims before he beats them up himself.
Affiliation: Council of Doom, The Original Way Outs (His band), The Cartoon Planet Band.
Likes: Evil, Crime, Money, Tacos, Gum, pizza, raw chicken, drinking toner fluid, Metallica, The Ramona, Boston (The Band) Cheese Logs, Beefaghetti, Rock Candy, Jaw Breakers, Brak’s mom, Family Haircuts Extreme (his favorite video game), Eating Cockroaches, Vanilla Wafers, Bowling, making people miserable and bossing them around (He sure likes a lot of things despite claiming he hates everything, huh?)
Theme song:

Dream Team Deluxe: Rorschach and Brak

Introductions:

Rorscach: The masked vigilante who investigates grisly murders and brutally punishes those who hurt the innocent. He is willing to do what he can to get information whether it’s breaking and entering to get some evidence or breaking a few fingers for some answers. His brilliance, skills in street fighting, and mental illness make him some one no criminal would ever want to meet in a dark ally.

Brak: You’d never think that this neighborhood goof ball was once the cruel and cunning space pirate who terrorized the galaxy along with his brother ‘Sisto’. After his ship went through a swarm of Pirranamyte, this strange cat-like alien had been half-lobotomized by the experience and became dumb as a door nail. He now spends his time going on wacky adventures, singing strange songs out of nowhere, or both.

 How They Met:

VS Bio: Moltar (Composite)

DISCLAIMER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME PERMISSION TO USE THIS BIO. JUST PLEASE GIVE CREDIT WHEN YOU DO USE IT. I REPEAT; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ASK ME TO USE THIS BIO. I JUST WANT TO BE CREDITED FOR MY WORK ON IT. Also note that this bio has not been updated since 2018, so there’s a chance it could be out of date if new media/information have surfaced since.

Moltar

AKA: Moltor (Original spelling), Moltor of the molten planet, Hotboy, Molty, Lever Man
First Appearance: Space Ghost and Dinoboy Episode 17: The ovens of Moltor (December 31, 1966)
Species: Molten Man (Describes himself as “a poorly drawn lava kind of a molten man”)
Age: Unknown
Occupation: Super Villain, Show Director, Host for Toonami, Cook, Waiter
Affiliation: Council of Doom, Ghost Planet, Toonami, Cartoon Network
Likes: Fire, burning things, Video Games, Green Jell-O, CHiPS (The old 1977 tv show), Erik Estrada, Beefaroni, Being a host, his wife Linda, Crime, Smoking, Heavy Metal, Batman, Rocky Road Ice Cream, old action cartoons, Beer, Kumquat Juice, Star Trek, Chocolate Party Cake, ect
Theme song:

VS Bio: Brak (Composite)

DISCLAIMER: YOU DON’T HAVE TO ASK ME PERMISSION TO USE THIS BIO. JUST PLEASE GIVE CREDIT WHEN YOU DO USE IT. I REPEAT; YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ASK ME TO USE THIS BIO. I JUST WANT TO BE CREDITED FOR MY WORK ON IT. Also note that this bio has not been updated since 2018, so there’s a chance it could be out of date if new media/information have surfaced since.

First Appearance: Space Ghost and Dinoboy Episode 7: “The Lure” (October 22, 1966)
Alias: Bill Swartzman
Species: Human/Alien Hybrid (His father his human, his mother is alien. He is often addressed as a cat alien)
Age: Unknown
Date of birth: 09/22/07 (At least according to his drivers license)
Height: 5’2″
Weight: 96 lbs
Occupation: Space Pirate, Singer, Entertainer, Moocher
Affiliation: Council of Doom, The Cartoon Planet Band
Likes: Beans, beef logs, singing, friendship, his mom, his dad, his best buddy Zorak, the ladies,Santa Claus, Baloney Wrapped Wieners, and a LOT of other things
Theme song: