Muta: Going to be interesting to see Moltar’s very first match… As well as his first victory!
Rico: Right; Like the good for nothing perezoso is gonna beat the one who’s day job is literally killing people who do the same thing for a living.
Rico: Muy bien, Pendejo! For now; seeing your face as the Pyro leaves Moltar a smoldering corpse will definitely make this all worth while.
It all happened in a town in the middle of nowhere surrounded by empty desert as far as the eye could see.
The entire town itself was going up in smoke as numerous structures were coated by ever spreading flames. The screams of those stuck inside of this hell hole were snuffed out by their lives coming to an end from the flames or sudden abrupt deaths at the hands of their attackers. The only ones crazy enough to be in such a location were some of the deadliest mercenaries around, but even their numbers dwindled as the body count rose along side the ominous black cloud of smoke above them all.
But what stuck out among all the small houses and buildings was something that looked strange… it was a large rocket ship; one that was red and glowing as it sat in place casting its shadow down across one of the many streets. It looked like this clash of BLU and RED had been crashed by a pair of invaders who were taking great joy in the chaos.
~CRUNCH~
Within an alley way, A seven foot tall mantis stood only a few feet away from the headless corpse of an RED engineer. The tall lanky green bugman sported a blue vest with matching gloves and boots. He was currently snacking on the head of his deceased victim, and it seemed he wasn’t alone.
Beside him was a tall man wearing a black and red hazmat suit; his entire body covered head to two leaving his true identity a complete mystery. He leaned against the wall; smoking a cigarette in through the inhalant receptacle on his mask while holding a beer in his other hand. Despite the carnage happening around them, they seemed to just be casually hanging out.
They were none other than Zorak and Moltar; a pair of infamous criminals from outer space. They were currently hiding out on this planet, as they had finally escaped the prisons of their captor and former boss; the galactic hero and talk show known as ‘Space Ghost’.
“You know, this place isn’t too bad. Plenty of helpless victims to terrorize, and best of all when we take a break we get to watch them murder each other on top of it! Plus all the heads I could snack on! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!” Zorak laughed.
“I know, right? And look at all this fire! It’s AWESOME! And… kinda romantic too! Maybe I should bring Linda here. Our anniversary is coming up!” Moltar stated, causing Zorak to just stop, stare, and blink at him.
[Music Stop]
“Aaaand I just lost my appetite.” Zorak said as he dropped the half eaten head on the ground before he whipped his bloodied gloves hands against his own vest.
“What’s wrong? Being married isn’t as bad as everyone says it is. Maybe you’d be less grumpy if you finally settled dow- oh wait… You’re a Mantis. I forgot about the whole ‘female-eats-the-male’s head’ thing for a second. Well, maybe you can try dating some one who’s vegan?” Moltar proposed.
“Nuts to that! Sheesh Moltar, what happened to you? You used to be cool! I swear, I’m the only one of us who never got soft after all these years… I’m gonna go to the little bugs room. DON’T FOLLOW ME!” Zorak said before he hopped away as if he had springs on his heels. Moltar just remained where he was, now completely alone. He began whistling to himself in the mean time as he patiently waited for his best friend and partner in crime to return.
It was then he heard some foot steps slowly approaching. The Molten Man turned his head, only to see an unfamiliar figure merely standing at the end of the alley.
It was one of those mercenaries the pair of villains were watching, but this one seemed different… Their entire body was covered head to two in a bright red suit and gloves. They wore a gas mask that wrapped around their entire heads which made them look all the more mysterious. With the suit seeming so large and baggy, one couldn’t even make out if this being was a man or a woman.
Little did Moltar know that he was now the target of one of the deadliest mercenaries of them all; The Pyro. The Pyro just stared at space criminal; tilting their heads in a curious yet menacing manner as they examined him with a flame thrower in both hands. The Molten Man just stood there, already feeling uncomfortable. He then looked down at the headless body of the RED engineer and back at the Pyro.
“Oh um… So was that a friend of yours or…?” Moltar awkwardly asked. But the Pyro didn’t answer. They just kept… staring.
Just what was going on in the mind of this silent killer?
From the Pyro’s psyche; the entire setting was not warzone going up in smoke, but a gingerbread village enveloped by rainbows with sparkly clouds. In place of the dead bloodied body of their fallen comrade was a baby peacefully sleeping in a crib. In place of his enemy?
Another Pyro just like themselves! But this one was different; they seemed taller and sported a bright yellow bucket on their head with a happy face scribbled on.
But wait! Oh No! This second Pyro didn’t seem to have a rainblower of their own. With out it, how could they possibly go about merrily spreading joy and smiles across the land? This just wouldn’t do! Luckily, the merry merc had a solution! If this second Pyro didn’t have any joy to spread, they’d happily share some themselves!
The Pyro aimed their whimsical trumpet-like device straight ahead and unleashed a beautiful rainbow which showered their new friend. Oh, how wonderful! They were tickled with joy already as they erupted in a fit of giggles.
[Music Stop]
In the real world however…
“YEEEOOOOOWWWW!!!” Moltar screamed as he was sprayed with a large stream of flames that completely covered up his body; incinerating his cigarette and making him drop his beer. Pyro just stood there, just staring at the suffering foe right before him with out ceasing their assault.
POW!
From out of the bright veil of flames came Moltar’s fist, which slugged the Pyro across the cheek. The stream of flames ceased as the masked mercenary stumbled back. His victim meanwhile just stood there; his suit singed but aside from that still standing tall.
“HEY, BACK OFF MAN! That was NOT cool! If you try that again, I’m gonna make you hurt! Ya got that?” The irate molten man shouted.
Pyro just stood there, seemingly in no pain what so ever like an cold unfeeling robot. They merely cracked their neck and gave Moltar another uncomfortable stare before switching out their flame thrower in favor of an axe.
At this point, Moltar now felt like he was in a horror movie. He was alone in an alleyway within the sights of a masked maniac wielding a sharp weapon. Heck, they were even going the Michael Myers head tilt for crying out loud! It actually brought a chill down his spine.
“M-Moltar fears nothing!” He blurted out, trying his best to ignore his own fear and hold his ground to stand up to this psycho.
Pyro meanwhile couldn’t wait to play with their new friend!
The Pyro made the first move and lunged fourth with their axe with rapid swings. Moltar frantically swayed to the sides, avoiding each and every swing as best he could. The Molten Man’s foot work allowed him to steer clear of the weapon as he was driven back, but unable to see what was behind him he ended up tripping on a garbage can and falling onto the pavement. Now vulnerable, the Pyro switched out for a shot gun and aimed it point blank at their fallen foe:
BLAMMO!
Moltar was able to roll out of the way in the nick of time. The former director got back on his feet, grabbed a near by trash can, lifted it over head, and chucked it at his stalker. The Pyro merely shot the trash container out of the air, but not with out the bullets shredding it to bits and spilling trash all over their face. With their goggles now obstructed by vile foul smelling juices and waste, Moltar went on the offensive and socked Pyro in the stomach. He followed it up with an upper cut to their chin, a right hook to their face, and soon he was just mindlessly beating on his foe not giving them a chance to retaliate.
“YEAH! Is that all you got, Pretty boy?” The lever man taunted; his fear having subsided now that he had the upper hand. He then raised both his arms in the air clasping his hands together to bring them down on the Pyro for a double axe handle strike like his name was James Tiberius Kirk. However, this was the window of opportunity needed for the Pyro to retaliate as they switched out to their “Degreaser” and wasted no time using it to give their new playmate a shiny new coat of flames.
Caught off guard, Moltar stumbled back yet again as he took the blast to the face. While he tried to pat out the flames on his suit, his arsonist assailant switched out to another weapon; an axe covered in barbed wire. They then went in, ready to strike their foe with the “Axtinguisher” as it was called, but surprisingly enough Moltar saw it coming.
Before the axe could cleave through him, The molten man caught it by upper part of the handle just below the blade with his right hand and held it back with sheer brute strength. It didn’t stop the Pyro from trying to push it down on his face, but they then noticed something was… burning?
“Didn’t you hear me the first time?” Moltar said as both his temper and body heat rose. Soon, the entire axe burst into flame; its wooden handle burnt to black ashes while the blade began to bubble and melt away. It was actually quite mesmerizing as the maniacal mercenary as they watched curiously, before they noticed Moltar’s left hand began to emit a bright orange glow.
“I SAID BACK OFF!”
Moltar fired out a powerful blast of pure concentrated heat point blank. Abandoning their now destroyed weapon, the Pyro swayed to the side as the villain unleashed a bright orange beam which traveled straight ahead. It ended up melting through a glass window display of a store and setting its merchandise ablaze.
“Whoa! I almost forgot I could do that… Zorak’s was right. I have been getting sloppy.” Moltar thought out loud as he looked down at his glowing hands. Pyro meanwhile switched out to their flamethrower.
Mr. Bucket Head sure was more playful than Pat could have ever imagined! Definitely not like other Pyro’s they had encountered. But it looked like warm sparkling rainbows and scrumptious lollipops weren’t enough to make them happy. Maybe he’d like to go on a nice field trip! I bet he’d feel rosy landing on that lovely bed of flowers over there.
FWROOSH!
With a powerful air blast from Pyro’s flamethrower, Moltar was sent flying out of the alley and across the street.
CRASH!
The molten man landed on a parked mustang, hitting the roof with such intensity that he crushed the top half, shattering the windows while leaving an imprint in the shape of his own body. The villain held his head, woozy from such a landing. From out of the alley flew a glowing flare from Pyro’s “Detonator” which landed in the back seat of the busted up vehicle.
Boom!
The flare exploded like a grenade, knocking Moltar away while the car was left a flaming mess..
[Music Stop]
The former director rolled onto the pavement before coming to a complete stop. He then got up; stumbling about kind of woozy and his vision still blurred. Once he was able to shake it off, he saw he was now looking down the barrel of another of Pyro’s weapons; the scorch shot. It was shoved right in front of his face for a deadly point blank shot.
“Aw shoot… Wait! NO! DON’T DO THAT!” Moltar begged. Just as Pyro pulled the trigger for an ‘execution’ finishing taunt, Moltar was able to miraculously dive out of the way. The cartridge went flying straight ahead, while Moltar himself made a break for it and ran as fast as he possibly could and left his stalker behind.
At this point, the former director knew his opponent was armed with a wide arsenal of weapons and knew how to use them. Seeing how dangerous he was first hand, Moltar decided not to take anymore chances. He was now running down the block to find his rocket ship in hopes that he could dust off some of his old weapons and creations from his super villain days so he could stand a chance.
Pat watched their new friend skip down the sugar coated road with glee. Perhaps now he wanted to play another game? Hide and seek? Follow the leader? Tag? Well, the only way to be sure was to give chase! He sure was fast though; almost reminded them of another lovable scrappy little friend of theirs. Well one thing was for sure; no matter how fast ‘Mr. Bucket Head’ was; he could run, but he couldn’t hide… TEEHEE!
LATER…
Hidden within the town was a gated cemetery with a tall imposing church in the center. Unlike the rest of the town itself, it remained almost untouched by the flames and completely devoid of any kind of activity. Perhaps the mercenaries avoided this location because it wasn’t an ideal battle ground? Maybe they had respect for the dead that laid buried there? Or perhaps there was ANOTHER reason they chose to steer clear of it?
Moltar found himself within this dark dreary place, having just now stopped to catch his breath after he had ran away from his attacker. He looked around, trying to get an idea of where he currently was as he was hunched over panting. It looked like in his hurry, he neglected to focus on just where he was going.
“Wait… where did I park again? AW MAN, I went the wrong way! Well, maybe Zorak will show up and help me out. I mean, he must have come back by now. He HAS to be looking for me, right? Wait, why am I talking out loud? Oh yeah, exposition.” Moltar went on. He then heard a massive explosion from the distance.
Zorak stood on a roof top, holding his now empty ‘Pain Master K-47 Hollow Nose Armor Piercing Shoulder Rocket’ which he had just fired. Any mercenaries who weren’t caught in the explosion were now covered in a small mountain of burning debris as the side of a small building had collapsed on top of them trapping them underneath. The Bug discarded the empty rocket launcher before he hopped down to the side walk below. He then approached the corpse of a BLU soldier, and pulled out a flag that had the logo of his former associates “The Council of Doom”.
He then planted it firmly between the dead soldier’s butt cheeks, leaving his flag there to fly in victory while laughing maniacally and mockingly at disgraced corpse. The lone locust of the apocalypse ceased his laughter the moment he saw more mercenaries were coming. He pulled out an AK-47 and began spraying bullets in all directions while hopping around like a grasshopper to avoid their gun fire.
“WHOOOOOHOOHOOHOO!” he wailed in excitement, taking great joy as he partook in the chaos as the members of RED and BLU alike either went to find cover, returned fire, or were mowed down by his bullets. It was safe to say he completely forgot about Moltar at this point…
BACK AT THE CEMETERY…
Moltar was now all alone to fend for himself in this graveyard. Well, maybe he was better off here. He did leave Pyro pretty far behind so… maybe they lost track of him and went to find another victim? Plus even if they were still looking for him, who’d ever think to check this… rather spooky looking cemetery for helpless victims?
It was then he noticed the dead body of a scout BLU Scout hanging from a noose from one of the branches of a large yet decrepit old tree. Moltar swallowed nervously… On one hand, he thought this was pretty cool. On the other hand, he couldn’t help but feel like he could be next…
Little did he know; the Pyro was literally right behind him. The masked stalker was peeking from behind of a massive grave stone while Moltar had his back turned. This was their opportunity to strike!
“Looks like he found the piñata! Alright Balloonicorn, we’re gonna throw Mr. Bucket Head the best surprise party ever! You got the cake, right? What? You ate the whole thing? OH, BALLOONICORN, that’s just like you! Silly… Well, hopefully our new friend will still have fun. Okay, on the count of three… ONE… TWO… THREE!”
Before the molten man could see it coming, he felt an intense burning sensation behind him as the Pyro used the “Backburner” flamethrower to toast their opponent’s back side. Moltar once more screamed out in pain while the back of his hazmat suit was now blackened and in tatters.
“YEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW! NOT AGAIN!” He screamed. He then turned around, and saw the Pyro coming at him with a bloodied gardening rake raised over head to maul him! Thinking fast, Moltar pulled was looked like an over sized Swiss army knife the size of his own arm and blocked the assault. While there was a brief power struggle between the two, the former director kicked the Pyro in the stomach and sent them stumbling back.
“Alright you pyromaniac pansy, now you’ve done it! You’ve forced me to use… THIS! You call that a gardening tool? HA! Now THIS is a gardening tool! Say hello to the Garden Gargantuan!” Moltar said, as he flicked the large utensil, making the upper half of a gardening rake to pop out from the top. Pyro just stared for a moment, and then lunged forth for another attack. But this time, Moltar was ready!
The two ended up getting into a duel as their rakes clanged and slapped against each other. They swung their weapons, trying to maul each other with the pointed forks at the tips. With another swipe of the ‘Backscratcher’, Moltar ducked and swung the Garden Gargantuan, slashing across the Pyro’s body and leaving a large bleeding wound. As they winced in pain, the Molten man then hooked Pyro’s weapon with the pointed curved end of his own and ripped it from their grip and flung into the air before it landed elsewhere.
With his opponent now disarmed, Moltar took this chance to… do some product placement?
BANG!
With that, Pyro blasted off the garden rake from the over sized (and frankly over priced) gardening tool with their shot gun. Seeing that he failed to entice his opponent with such an offer, Moltar ran off while the Pyro pursued with non-stop blasts from their fire arm. The director dove behind a tomb stone, and took a moment to flick through the large utensil as he went through its slew of farming tools in hopes that he could find one that could help him in his time of need.
Hearing the gun shots get louder, he then jumped out from behind the head stone which was blasted to bits. The Pyro reloaded their weapon and took aim once they were close enough to give the molten man a face full of lead. Before they could, Moltar used a shovel from their versatile tool to dig up some dirt from the ground and fling it into the Pyro’s goggles, blinding them. While the mercenary tried to shake it off, the villain WHACKED them on the head with the the blunt side of the shovel and knocked them away.
Pyro fell over; their head harshly hitting the side of a large solid head stone hard enough to leave a crap on their way down. Now that they were down, the Moltenman began mercilessly beating the Pyro down with the shovel. They were hitting them so hard that the shovel blade itself was starting to dent! Moltar ceased their assault for just a moment; flicking through the weapons of the garden gargantuan; this time a large pitch fork.
He then raised it over head and plunged down onto the Pyro’s body!
STAB!
Moltar merely drove the pointed fork blades deep into the ground while the Pyro rolled out of the way. Still sore from the beating, they were able to get up and take aim while the molten man struggled to rip the now stuck Garden Gargantuan from the soil. Noticing the Pyro, Moltar had no choice but to abandon the sponsored product as the asbestos sporting arsonist unleashed another shower of shells. The Molten Man found himself fleeing yet again, and the Pyro gave chase.
Once again, Moltar was running FAST! If he didn’t stop soon, the Pyro might end up losing him soon enough. They then pulled out a flare gun, took aim, and fired; the bright flare whizzed through the air and hit Moltar on the back of the head. He was knocked down onto the grass, giving the Pyro ample time to catch up. The director got onto his knees and rubbed the back of his head; only to turn around and see the the pyromaniac pursuer was gaining on him!
Thinking quickly, Moltar quickly raised his hand and unleashed a powerful blast of concentrated heat, burning a deep massive trench into the ground itself to keep the Pyro at bay. Before the mercenary could stop running, they clumsily tripped and fell down into said trench, much to Moltar’s relief. Hopefully that would hold him for awhile.
BLOOOSH!
Just then, something came blasting fourth from the trench and high into the air! It was Pyro, now wearing the ‘Thermal Thruster’ Jet pack on their back. Moltar’s jaw dropped from behind the mask as he witnessed this; but he shook it off and began to retaliate with more blasts of glowing concentrated heat. The Pyro maneuvered around the beams flawlessly and gracefully like a descending ballerina as they made their way back down to their opponent.
THWACK!
The molten man from the molten planet was met with not one, but TWO boots to the face as the Pyro landed on top of his head. Moltar was stomped into the dirt, with the impact of this attack leaving him weak and woozy.
“Egh… Man, this bites… I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I think I actually miss Space Ghost… Uuugh… How can this get any worse?” Moltar uttered. The Pyro then squatted over Moltar’s face and lit a match. They then lifted their leg and placed said lit match right beneath their rump.
Moltar knew EXACTLY Where this was going.
“OH NO YOU DON’T!” The molten man shouted. A large dagger-like knife sprang from his glove and with it, he quickly stabbed its pointed tip into the ass of the arsonist!
POINK!
[Music Stop]
The pain was so intense that even the goggle’s on the Pyro’s mask widened as they let out a loud yet muffled scream. The mercenary cartoonishly went flying high up into the air holding their bottom. It was if they had blast off with out aid the jet pack! Moltar got up and moved several feet away, and the arsonist landed on their back with a loud ‘THUD’.
The Pyro immediately got back on their feet, rubbing their sore tuchus before they noticed the large knife that Moltar was holding. Reminded of the Spy, The mercenary decided to pull out a weapon most ideal for such enemies; their trusty flame thrower. Looking down at his knife and then back at his opponent, The villain got into fighting stance and held onto their retractable blade, now ready to go all out in a brutal bloody knife fight.
But then, they realized they weren’t alone. They looked around them, and saw they were surrounded by…
GHOSTS!?!
Both Moltar and Pyro let out high pitched screams! Encircled around them were glowing transparent specters which looked like floating white bed sheets with eye holes cut in. The masked mercenary was so scared, they leapt into Moltar’s arms with out thinking. Unable to rationalize from fear, the Molten Man carried the their stalker as they ran through an opening within the crowd of spooks as he bolted as far away as possible.
The molten man dashed away in haste, getting as far away from the ghosts as possible as Pyro clung to him for dear life! But then Moltar abruptly stopped and realized that he was carrying his attacker like a bride…
[Music Stop.]
The two looked each other in the eyes with at least five seconds of awkward silence going by.
“Um… Well, this is awkward. You know, this is cute and all but, um… I’m already happily married, sooooo-“
SMACK!
The Pyro aggressively slapped Moltar across the face wearing a ‘Hot Hand’ glove. It actually hurt! Moltar shook it off.
“Alright… I suppose I had that coming…” Moltar stated.
SMACK!
“OW! Okay, I get it! Cut that out! I’ll put you down! Just let me-“
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
“GAH! ALRIGHT, FINE! WANNA TAKE YOUR CHANCES WITH THE GHOSTS? THEN BE MY GUEST!” Moltar yelled. He then chucked the Pyro away into a small group of pursing ghosts before he continued running himself. Letting out another comical cowardly scream, The mercenary sprang up and ran off in fear, going in the opposite direction of the molten man.
Moltar was soon chased out of the cemetery and found himself back on the street surrounded by houses and buildings on fire. It was then he noticed among all the smoke and flames was his rocket ship! Perfect! This was his opportunity to launch his counter attack. Well, he’d had best hurry. Chances are the Pyro was already trying to track him down to finish what they started…
LATER…
Pat merrily skipped down the colorful rosy glistening streets while smiling babies waved at them from the lovely radiant gingerbread houses. At the end of the block was a giant pink easy-bake-oven decorated with flowers; no doubt there were more friends or wonderful toys to play with inside! Oh, maybe this is where Mr. Bucket Head lived? Oh how adorable! Now the playful Pyro could pay him a visit! But just how were they gonna get inside? Perhaps there was a secret knock like one would use for a club house or a charming little password like “Gumdrops.”
Just then, the oven popped open, and out stepped four adorable jolly gingerbread giants which marched in single file like a small group of soldiers. Once they were all out, the oven door closed back up while they themselves approached the Pyro. They then surrounded Pat, looking down at them with big smiling faces of icing etched onto their faces. They opened their mouths, burping up sparkly rainbows which made Pat absolutely giddy while the other giants giggled with glee!
These must have been Mr. Bucket Head’s friends! And they wanted to play with them! Wow, Mr. Bucket Head sure was a talented baker to cook these up. They’d have to thank Mr. Bucket Head personally!
[Music Stop]
It looked like the Pyro had finally made it Molar’s molten rocket, but not before Moltar did. Having expected to be tracked down, Moltar re-activated his old Molten Men robots. They were definitely dusty due to years of neglect, but still very much fully functional. When he saw that Pyro was approaching the outside of his ship on a security camera feed on his monitor screen, he immediately sent these 12 foot tall molten automatons to deal with the intruder.
Moltar sipped a milk shake through a straw from the comfort of his own ship as he watched everything unfold on the monitor screens. The four molten men now in a circle around Pyro and surrounded them. There was no way they’d escape this time!
“Alright you walking dumpster fire… LET’S ROCK!” Moltar cheered.
The beady orange eyes of the Molten Men glowed brightly before they all simultaneously unleashed optic heat beams which would intersect where Pyro stood. However, the mercenary had already started moving just when they fired and avoided the beams. The blasts all collided with each other, creating an explosion that propelled the the Pyro away and made them land face first on the pavement. They landed at the feet of one of the robots, who then lifted their leg attempted to stomp on their target’s head.
The Pyro rolled out of the way as the molten man’s foot missed and smashed the asphalt beneath it. The Pyro got right back on their feet while molten man then reached over to try to grab them. The Mercenary pulled out an axe and took off the Molten Man’s arm with a single swing. The bot looked at its severed arm and then back at the Pyro before it began to charge up energy for another optic blast.
Pulling out the Scorch Shot, the Pyro shot the robot square between the eyes. This forced it to tilt its head back as it fired off its eye beams into the air instead. It ended up hitting a pigeon that was flying over head, instantly cooking it alive before it fell onto the ground below looking like a fully cooked Cornish game hen.
Hearing the sounds loud mechanical foot steps of the other Molten Men coming, the Pyro turned around and took aim with a cannon-like flamethrower known as “The dragon’s fury”. With it, the Pyro shot not streams of flames, but large glowing fireballs which collided with the Molten Men and sent them stumbling back. The Pyro skillfully kept switching between the three targets, keeping them at bay while simultaneously wearing them down.
Not forgetting the Molten Man behind them, the mercenary turned around to finish off the previous robot they had already disarmed. However, they were met with a powerful kick from its leg. The Pyro was punted like a football and sent them flying into another robot, who then delivered a molten hot back fist which sent them flying into the side of a building:
SMASH!
The masked mercenary was smashed through a wall of solid brick, which kicked up a large cloud of dust and debris. The robots then all got into another formation and stood side by side as their eyes charged up with energy. They then unleashed all that power into yet another combined blast which they all aimed in a single spot:
KABOOM!
SPLASH!
The side of a fire hydrant was hacked off by an axe, and from it gushed fourth an abundance of water which doused the molten men. Upon making contact with their heated molten bodies, it not only cooled them down, but even created a fog of steam around them. Now blinded, the Molten Men ended up bumping into each other and knocking each other about. The culprit behind this was none-other than the Pyro, who looked to have snuck away before they brought the building down and was able to sneak around them.
The Mercenary then armed themselves with what looked like a Neon Sign torn off a wall, and then rushed towards the drenched disoriented robots. The Pyro then swung about their electrified weapon, striking each and every robot numerous times on their bodies:
BASH! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!
The electric shocks were made all the more lethal by the water that covered the Molten Men’s cooled down bodies, making them short circuit and fall apart. When the fog finally cleared, it was revealed that the robots had not only been destroyed, but straight up vaporized! Not a trace of any of them were left behind, and the Pyro stood in place triumphantly playing the ‘Neon Annihilator’ like a guitar.
Which… oddly enough, sounded like a real instrument.
Moltar watched from behind his monitor, squeezing his milk shake and bringing it to a burning boil from his body heat rising from sheer frustration. It reminded him of the old days when Space Ghost and his little side kicks thwarted his scheme. He gave a loud disgruntled groan before he punched in some new commands on his control panel.
“That… THING is really getting on my nerves… Alright, minor set back. Time for the Central Thermal Robots!” He shouted while pulling a lever.
The top part of his rocket ship opened up, and out launched six strange flying robots that looked like purple mechanical wingless birds. Despite their lack of wings, they were able to fly via rockets from underneath allowing them to fly through the air like missiles. They flew down towards the Pyro, but remained airborne and stayed high enough to keep out of their reach. Now that their target was in their sights, they be fired bright red beams from their beaks down at the mercenary!
Pyro immediately darted off; running away from the beams and narrowly avoiding them as they rained from the sky. They exploded on contact; blowing up parked cars and leaving wide smoking craters in the ground. No matter how far the mercenary ran, the flying robots gave chase; out of stalker’s reach while bombarding them with more beams.
The Pyro tried running into one of the buildings for cover, but entrance was blown to flaming rubble by a perfectly aimed beam. All they could do was keep running down the street; and it looked like Moltar’s creations would follow them no matter where they went.
Pulling out the otherworldly looking firearm known as the “Man Melter”, the Pyro fired back at the air borne bots with bolts of energy. The mercenary had to keep moving as they frantically returned fire, missing such far away fast moving targets numerous times. However, they did manage to hit one of the thermal bots as the bolt blew open its chest. The rest of its body completely disintegrated shortly after, but now only one of six had been eliminated and the rest hadn’t stopped firing.
BOOM!
The Pyro was hit by one of the explosive beams, sending them flying further down the street. The masked mercenary got back up on their feet; the side of their suit was now heavily singed and violently torn while their body was in a considerable amount of pain. They had no choice but to immediately keep moving as more beams were shot in their direction. With the damage and fatigue starting to set in, their maneuverability was hindered. Thankfully, they still had the ‘Thermal Thruster’ handy for just such a predicament!
Activating the jet pack, the merc blasted through the barrage of incoming beams as they then flew up high into the air. They flew towards one of the bots about to fire and rammed into it at break neck speeds and grabbing onto it. With its aim thrown off, it fired out its beam at another thermal robot, blowing it to pieces. The bot that the Pyro now clung to began flying around in an erratic manner in a futile attempt to throw the mercenary off. It ended up ramming into the other thermal robots, knocking them in different directions as they spun out of control.
One of the bots was knocked to the pavement below and broke into pieces upon landing. The two left over bots spun out of control for just a brief moment before stopping and regaining control of their movements. They then took aim at the out of control bot, ready to blow up one of their own if it meant eliminating their target. They unleashed two beams at once, and that was the Pyro’s que to let go of the bot and leave it to be destroyed as they let themselves fall back down to the street below.
KABOOM!
The Pyro landed on the street with a less-than-dignified landing as they had nearly broken their behinds on the concrete.
With only two left, they took aim at the Pyro before firing simultaneously. The masked mercenary pulled out their flame thrower and used it to shoot a potent blast of wind at the right moment. It redirected the incoming beams, blowing both thermal robots out of the air. One of them plummeted to the ground below, where the Pyro finished it off by smashing its head in with a “Home wrecker” sledge hammer. The last bot remained spinning out of control as it smashed into Moltar’s Rocket Ship; and then it exploded.
BOOM!
[Music Stop]
The Pyro looked over to where the last bot had landed. Seems its explosive impact had blown open a large opening on Moltar’s space vessel, making it completely accessible now. The asbestos-ridden arsonist then made their way to it, entering the ship at last in hopes that they could finish what they started.
“So nice for Ms. Birdy to open up the giant oven for us, huh Mr. Balloonicorn? Oh, won’t HE be surprised to see us! You can’t hide forever, Mr. Bucket Head! Olly olly oxen free!”
Meanwhile, back within the monitor room of the ship:
Moltar just… stood in front of the monitor screen; completely speechless as he had just witnessed his stalker dismantle his second wave of robots and make their way aboard. With out anymore robots left to spare, just what was he gonna do now?
It was then the villain got an idea; one last desperate gamble! It looked like he was gonna have to get in contact with some one he met during his days working on a talk show… while it could potentially cost him quite a lot, he had no other options!
LATER…
“There’s no use hiding… I can smell your sins…“
Who said that? That voice… it clearly wasn’t coming from the molten man. It was far more… ominous. It seemed Moltar wasn’t alone. To make things stranger, the Pyro couldn’t help but be compelled to step out into the open themselves by such a voice. Now stepping from the shadows and into view, Moltar saw them coming and instead of running away; merely stood there and let the Pyro approach.
“There you are. Hey man, say hey to Satan.” Moltar casually stated, introducing Pyro to the prince of darkness himself!
Though admittedly, he looked different from the Medic’s description. He was… well, a bear. A bear wearing a green neck tie and a crown of femurs. He actually reminded Pyro of a cartoon character he saw on TV 10 years ago, though who it was escaped them at the moment.
The fallen angel beckoned with a deep echoing voice that shook Pyro’s very soul.
“Go on, man.” Moltar encouraged.
The Pyro simply stared at the devil himself, slowly yet cautiously inching nearer to him.
“Closer…”
“Go on, Go on!”
In just a few more seconds, the stalker was within arms reach of Satan.
“Yes… I can see it… you’ve already been touched by darkness. You are indeed one of my children. I can take this one off your hands, Moltar. But it’ll cost you… DEARLY!”
“Yeah yeah, I know. So… How much?”
“You’ll see… MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA”
The devil laughed; all the while Pyro never took their eyes off of him. Surprisingly enough, the arsonist’s warped view of reality didn’t distort the devil as something more friendly and cuddly. Instead, their twisted imagination morphed his image into something FAR more sinister.
Something about this appearance of a bear just… set something off inside of the already murderous mercenary; a fiery fury that not even most of their past victims were subjected to.
“My child… What are you doing?”
The Pyro raised the axe over their heads. THIS EVIL MUST BE DESTROYED!
“NO! WAIT, MY CHILD! STOP!”
With out hesitation, the Pyro brought the axe down upon devil himself, cleaving straight into his chest and knocking him to the ground.
“WHOA!” Moltar yelled; taken aback by what he was seeing as he then watched in shock and horror.
They forcefully ripped the blade out out of the bear’s body and proceeded to continuously hack his face to pieces. In just seconds, Satan’s screams and protests began to sound more like he was gagging on his own blood. The Pyro kept hacking until the beast’s head looked completely pulverized; his crown of femurs rolled along the floor before it stopped. It was then enveloped by a pool of blood flowing from the devil’s decapitated corpse.
The Pyro finally stopped, silently standing as blood dripped from their axe.
The silence was broken once they started laughing maniacally. A rainbow formed over their head, which then erupted into a devilish burst of flame which set the devil’s remains ablaze. Moltar stepped back; absolutely terrified as he witnessed this creature stand on the dead body of the devil himself surrounded by what looked like hell fire.
[Music Stop]
“You…killed him…” Moltar said as he shook in place before falling onto his knees. The Pyro approached the trembling molten man and looked down at him. He was now at their mercy… With their target now a sitting duck, the murderous mercenary took a stance and started to form a glowing fire ball in their hands. They were about to perform their most infamous kill taunt; The Hadoken.
Just then, right when Pyro unleashed their flaming finisher, Moltar put his both hands forward. From his palms blasted fourth a fully powered glowing beam of pure concentrated heat at his executioner point blank! The blast not only cancelled out and even over powered their fireball, but carried off the mercenary as they went crashing through multiple walls.
KABOOM!
The Pyro’s body was blown through one last wall of the rocket before they found themselves outside again. They then fell all the way down to the streets below and landed with a loud THUD. They slowly got back up; breathing heavily as their suit not only sustained more damage, but they could feel 3rd degree burns on their skin beneath!. However, they powered through the pain and stood their ground, anticipating their foe to follow.
Moltar appeared standing in the same hole of the ship was blasted through. He then jumped down onto the pavement below before he began to slowly approach his tormentor. His body was so heated that his boots left glowing burning foot prints on the street as he got closer.
Moltar wasn’t terrified anymore. He was ANGRY.
“You make me SICK… First you stalk me like I’m a cheerleader in a slasher flick, then you destroy all my robots, then you break into my ship, and on top of that you slaughter SATAN? That guy had connections to get me on a new show, and now thanks to you that’s never gonna happen! THAT’S IT! I’m gonna BOIL YOU ALIVE IN THAT SUIT OF YOURS, YOU ASBESTOS-RIDDEN ASSHOLE!” Moltar shouted.
Moltar had been pushed over the edge at this point, and was going to stop holding back!
“Ever see what a blade heated to 1000 degrees could do? If you haven’t seen the videos on the internet, I’LL SHOW YOU MYSELF!” Moltar shouted.
A large knife sprung from the molten man’s wrist again, but unlike before it was now glowing red from his rising body heat. In fact, his body heat was so intense the Pyro could feel it from where they stood! But the mercenary just tilted their head; not at all intimidated by Moltar’s new resolve. In fact, it reinvigorated them with intrigue!
The Molten man rushed down the Pyro with his glowing dagger in hand, but they blocked it with their axe. The two blades created sparks as they clanged with one another as they parried each other’s attacks. They went on, blocking and dodging each other’s weapons until-
SLASH!
With a swift strike, Moltar brutally gashed the Pyro leaving a burning wound across their chest. Taking damage and flinching from the pain; the mercenary stumbled back. The molten man then thrust his knife forward to stab the stalker in the throat, but the arsonist retaliated by swinging their weapon upward and knocking the knife from Moltar’s hand!
CHOP!
With their opponent disarmed, the arsonist brought the axe down on Moltar’s shoulder! The blade was now embedded into his molten body as the villain let out a scream of pain. The Pyro planted their foot on the villain’s torso as they tried to pry the blade out, but they were met with a brutal burning haymaker to their masked face.
The molten man followed it up with delivered brutal punches to mercenary’s bread basket which were made all the more painful thanks to being enhanced by concentrated heat. He then grabbed the mercenary’s shoulders and reeled his head back before SLAMMING his molten skull into the Pyro’s face for a severe head butt, breaking the Pyro’s nose.
Finally, Moltar grabbed the Pyro’s arm and flung them over his shoulder, sending them flying across the street. They flew through the air with such speed that upon landing on the side walk they cracked the pavement. As the mercenary bounced back up, Moltar ripped the mercenary’s leftover axe out of his shoulder and flung it at them as it whizzed through the air like a tomahawk.
Seeing it coming, The masked mercenary pulled out their Man Melter, and shot the incoming weapon with a red bolt of energy. The axe was disintegrated mid air before it could even get close. Growing frustrated, the villain finally pulled out an alien-looking ray gun and opened fire. From this weapon he shot ‘Magno-Lock beams’ which would paralyze the Pyro if they hit.
However, the mercenary was still as sprightly as ever as they ran through the beams and avoided each and every one, much to villain’s frustration. The two ended up having shoot out; diving and rolling out of the way of numerous flying energy projectiles and returning fire. However, Moltar was struck with red bolts of energy that actually left small holes in his molten body, while the Pyro just kept dancing around his shots. The former director fell onto his knee, his body now in terrible searing pain.
He held his beam gun out and began to take aim again, but it was difficult to get a lock on this pesky pyromaniac.
“STAND STILL YOU LITTLE… GAH! NOOOOO!” Moltar had gotten so angry he had accidentally fried his own gun with his ever increasing body heat!
SPLASH!
The menacing mercenary had thrown a red canister of gas at Moltar, which exploded into a thick green which blocked his vision and left his suit soaked in a flammable substance. The villain coughed, trying to fan away the gas with his hands while the Pyro pulled out another other worldly weapon; their Phlogistinator flame thrower! With it, they bathed the Molten man in electrolysed ultra-waves of pure phlogiston which caused the gas to ignite! The eruption of flames was so intense that even Moltar’s hazmat suit was now melting as the gas infused flames ate away at it like acid.
Moltar agonizing roars echoed loudly as his entire body was consumed by a bright inferno while his costume continued to erode. A silhouette of his body could be seen through the wall of flames stumbling about and falling onto the ground; no doubt finally succumbing to the pain and damage he had sustained. As Moltar’s screams went quieter, the flames that enveloped and surrounded him grew stronger.
[Music Stop]
Soon, things went completely quite sans the simmering of flames. The Pyro couldn’t help but sit there and admire their handy work; the fireball continued to glow brightly while the flames grew more and more intense.
In fact, the glow had soon become so intense that Pyro was actually BLINDED by it; seeing only black when they closed their eyes and white when they opened them. Not only that but, it was getting hotter… too hot! The Pyro tried to move away, but their injuries and fatigue from this drawn out battle had taken their toll. In fact, now they felt like they had a headache… no, not just that; but a fever too!
Moltar emerged from the wall of flames with his now exposed brightly glowing molten body. No longer contained by his hazmat suit, his body heat had risen to the point where just by being within his presence could cook one’s brain. Before the Pyro could even begin running to get some place safe, the villain grabbed their head with his hands of red hot glowing lava.
He then held them up into the air, dangling them as they tried to break free. However, they were already succumbing to the intense heat as Moltar now focused ALL of his body heat into his hands; the entire body then burst into flames while their suit began to erode.
Pat saw a big bright baby sun smiling down upon them and the happy whimsical land that stretched across the horizon. They stood side by side with the Balloonicorn, waving at the sun which gave a cheerful giggle. However, these happy feelings didn’t last for long as the playful Pyro suddenly felt an intense fever that made them stumble about.
Before Balloonicorn could say anything, his balloon being was deflated before it melted down into a puddle. All the color from the land slowly toned down becoming increasingly dim as everything in pat’s world had sloppily melted; making it all look like a subdued Salvador Dali painting. The warmth and sparkles within this world were gone, giving the Pyro a feeling of loneliness and fear they hadn’t felt for a LONG time…
Pat looked at their own hand and saw that too was melting; just like everything else around them as the sun itself got bigger and bigger as if it were getting closer… It flickered back and fourth from the face of a jolly giggling infant to what looked and sounded like a bleeding skull screaming in agony within the darkness.
And once it got close enough, everything just suddenly went black…
PLOP!
Moltar dropped the Pyro’s body onto the ground. Their head has been completely melted down to a bubbly mess of goop.
If no one knew who was under the mask before, they’d definitely never know now…
[Music Stop.]
The brightly glowing being took a deep sigh of relief as they looked down at the headless body.
At long last, their stalker was finally slain. It was finally over… he could finally rest easy now.
But just to be safe, he blasted the remains of the Pyro into ashes with his heat rays from his palms to avoid any last minute jump scares. He couldn’t be TOO careful after all!
“Whoa, Moltar! Didn’t think you were gonna go streaking down the street. Especially after that lecture you got about strippin’ in the woods.” Said a familiar voice. The glowing Moltar let out a sudden yell and jumped in the air before he turned around. Lucky for him, it was just Zorak wearing a pair of sun glasses.
“ZORAK! There you are! Where’d you even go, man?” Moltar inquired.
“I could ask you the same thing. I didn’t feel like waiting, so I decided to go do my own thing. By the looks of things, I see you were having fun too. So… How many did you get?” Zorak asked. The Mantis seemed to be hauling a bunch of weapons, hats, and body parts he taken from the mercenaries he had slain.
“Um… just this one…” Moltar said with a bit of shame. His body now glowed red from embarrassment opposed to his lava physique.
“HA! Seriously?” Zorak sneered before he snickered through his beak.
“Hey man, you don’t get it! He was like… coming at me with an axe and everything”
“WUSS! You only killed one of them, but I killed at least 12 of em all by myself! I TOOK NO PRISONERS! MUAHAHAHHAHAHA!” Zorak triumphantly gloated as he shook his fist.
“Did I say one? Um… Er… I meant, one hundred! Yeah, one hundred! I killed exactly one hundred people!” Moltar lied in an attempt to save face.
“Oh, is that a confession I hear?” Said a voice. Moltar and Zorak looked to the side, only to see a certain super hero levitating in the air with his arms crossed disapprovingly. He wore white suit, black cowl mask,and yellow cape armed with big bright high tech bands on his arms floating in the air.
There was no mistaking it: It was Space Ghost. It looked like he had managed to track down these two criminals, and he was no doubt going to turn them in for their misdeeds!
“GREETINGS! I see you boys have been keeping yourselves busy. Mass murder, arson, and indecent exposure… Where did I go wrong with you two? Now I’m going to give you both a time out, but not before giving you a little much deserved discipline with my spank ray!” Space Ghost said as he readied his power bands.
“Aw great, Moltar! Your red glowing ass must have given away our position!” Zorak yelled.
“Oh… crud… Well, can I at least get a phone call? Might as well call Linda and tell her I might not be home tonight…” Moltar politely asked.
Crossover Crossfire HQ 